A Little Somethin' Somethin'

Oh, poor little blog, how I’ve neglected you.  I’m sorry.  I’ve been very busy.  Here’s a little story that will hopefully tide you over till I can resume more regular blogging.

As I’ve mentioned before, I work in the Flynt Publications building, which is owned by Huslter magazine publisher Larry Flynt.  Mr. Flynt, it turns out, is something of a ghost in his own building.  He’s a nearly invisible sprit who haunts the halls and elevators of his porn empire. Almost everyone who works in the building has their own Larry Flynt sighting story. It like working at one of those haunted bead & breakfasts in New England.  Someone mentions Larry Flynt’s name and inevitably someone else will say “You know, I saw him once. . .”

All of the Larry Flynt sighting stories I’ve heard are pretty similar.  There’s two popular variations and they both involve the elevators.  The first variation is “I was waiting for the elevator and when it opened, there he was, wheelchair and everything.  Then his bodyguard yelled at me and told me to take the next one.  The door closed and he was gone.  Part of me wondered if he’d ever really been there at all.”  The other version is “I was on the elevator when it stopped and the door opened.  At first I thought no one was there but then I saw these two feet in a wheelchair just barely sticking out from around the corner.  The feet rolled back out of view and then the door closed.  I mean, I didn’t see his face or anything, but I know it was him.”

I have yet to have a sighting myself but I’m told that if I work here long enough it will happen.  Just today one of my coworkers told me “When I started here I thought it was all a bunch of malarkey, made up for the tourists.  But then four years ago I saw him rolling into the elevator.  I’m here to tell you now it’s all true, every word of it!  He saw me coming for the elevator and he made his bodyguard push the door close button.  Shut it right in my face he did.” What I’ve learned from all these stories is that Mr. Flynt is very apprehensive about being around strangers.  God only knows why.  I guess being shot and paralyzed, while standing in a crowd of people in broad daylight, makes you paranoid or something.