Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Shock The Monkey

My office is static charged beyond the scope of human comprehension.  Larry Flynt must be housing some sort of unlicensed super conductor in the building.  Everything I touch in here delivers a tiny pinprick of static electricity.  On their own the shocks aren’t bad but after 8 hours I leave the office feeling like my fingers have been ravaged by an overzealous hematologist.  I’ve taken to walking around the office like a blind man, constantly touching the walls, always grasping for the nearest piece of furniture, anything that will keep me grounded for a few seconds.  Some day as an experiment I’m going to walk around the office without touch anything all day.  Then, just before I leave for the night, I’m going to touch on of my coworkers.

My hypothesis:  The resulting shock will cook their organs inside their body.

4 comments:

Frank said...

It would be worth it to, just for a moment, exercise the powers of an X-Villain.

Or those of Ernest Goes to Jail.

Jeff said...

There's not a single electric X-villain that I can think of.

There's Electro, of course, but he's a Spidey villain.

Paul said...

There is that super-hot electric chick from season four(?) of Angel. She is, for all intents and purposes, an X-Men character.

Frank said...

This points are valid, but I feel debating them is preventing you both from appreciating my awesome Ernest P. Worrell reference.