Thursday, December 15, 2005

What Costco Doesn't Have = Nothing

It was recently brought to my attention that Costco, purveyors of cheap 90lb bags of breaded chicken cutlets, also offer discounts on such macabre items as urns and coffins.  You can buy them directly over the Costco website while shopping for peanut butter in reasonably priced 30gal drums.  Apparently the coffins are regular size and you need only buy one at a time.  They run the price gamut from the low 900s to the $2300 range, which, if you’ve ever been in the market for a casket, you’ll know is pretty reasonable.   This got me thinking, what would someone do with a coffin procured at cost and, with a little luck, years in advance of their death?  Here’s my idea for a fun and functional casket based project:

1.Acqiure one(1) Costco Coffin
2.Remove coffin lid and one of the long sides (this may require a hacksaw and/or blowtorch).
3. Rest coffin on a makeshift frame, elevating it 6-24 inches off the ground.  Frame could be made of wood, metal pipes, even cinder blocks.  
4. Outfit coffin with extra pillows to your desired comfort level.
5. Eat peanut butter sandwiches while watching TV from the comfort of your brand new Costco Coffin Couch.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I actually have one for sale. I'll send pics if anyone is interested.
Put "coffin couch" in the subject