I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and it’s really got me wondering: How can something have no calories? How is that possible? I mean, aside from water, everything has calories. Celery has calories. Rice cakes have calories. Even Diet Coke has A calorie. How can a soda with corn syrup, and potassium benzoate, and god knows what else, have NO calories? Is this a miracle of modern chemistry or is it plain, old-fashioned devilry?
The only natural precedent I can find for a paradox like this is in D&D, when you cast an illusion spell to create food. It has taste and texture but offers no actual HP recovery.