What the fuck am I doing?!?

So, I guess I’m directing a play. Frank wrote a great one act to submit to a festival that is being put on by a theatre company he’s done some work with. For some reason he put my name on the submission sheet as a possible director. It was only after the play had been accepted in to the festival that I was old about any of this. Long story short, I’m now the director of an hour-long one act about a woman who writes Transformers erotic fan fiction.

I think if Frank had asked me before submitting his play I would have told him that I wasn’t interested in directing, but having the idea suddenly sprung on me, and left with little time to think about it, I agreed. I have directed one acts before. It’s always been a good time. Plus, I like working in theatre and haven’t had the opportunity in a while. This should be fun, I figured, a nice little lark.

It was only after saying yes that I was told that Frank’s play was going to be one of two hour long pieces that anchored a festival filled with much shorter pieces, and that this theater company is considering doing a full length version of this play next year. Suddenly I’m not just responsible for directing a one act but also for holding together half of a theatre festival and shepherding Frank’s fledgling writing career into greener pastures. I’m glad there isn’t too much riding on this lark.

Most of the other directors are coming out of this theatre company and have much more expirence than I do. I kind of feel like an imposter. Like at any moment they're going to ask for a secret handshake and when I don't know it they'll point at me and screech, and then descend on me and suck my brains out.

I am feeling a litte bit better since this weeked. On Sunday few of us auditioned an actress. For my part I felt like it went well. I felt like I had a clear sense of what I wanted to see, communicated those ideas clearly, and got approprate responses from the acttress. I felt like I knew what I was doing. That's a good feeling. I just hope I can keep it up. We’re having callback auditions tonight and I’m really nervous. It’s a small show (3 people) that will live or die by its two leads, how they perform individually and their chemistry with each other. Once we have a cast in place a little bit better but until then it’s butterfly city.