Monday, October 03, 2005

Vom City, Population: Me

So all day Friday I was laid up with some sort of deadly 24-hour Monkey Flu. It was either that or food poisoning. I'm not a doctor, I don't know. The point is when I woke up Friday morning I felt really queasy but okay otherwise (no fever, chills, aches, or pains) so I went into work. As soon as I got in the VP of Marketing said I looked "like shit" and that I should go to Whole Foods and get this herbal stomach formula that supposedly works wonders. I am highly dubious of such alchemy but she ordered me to do it right then. No sooner had I gotten downstairs to my car than I just lost it all over the parking garage. Thankfully no one was around, though I'm sure the building staff was entertained rewatching the security cam footage for the rest of the day. Also, I feel really bad for the person parked next to me. While I managed to not soil their car, I did rain down a river of vomit that they would have to cross in order to get into their car at the end of the day. I mean it was bad. If I came to my own vom river while playing the old Oregon Trail PC game I would wait the three days and pay the extra $5 to take the ferry across. Try to ford that river and you're just asking to loose some oxen.

So instead of Whole Foods I went home, took some pepto and drank some water. Really I felt 100% better after puking and I thought it was going to be fine (three-day weekend, sweet!) but whatever I had contracted activated a horrible internal Vom Clock with an alarm feature that went off every two hours. This didn't stop until about 6am Saturday morning even through at most I'd eaten three crackers all day.

Because of this I missed the long anticipated outing to see "Serenity" on opening night. This bummed me out quite a bit. I haven't seen a movie on opening night with a big crowd of people in forever and was really looking forward to it. I was tempted to go anyway. I kept thinking about the time I saw "Charlie's Angels" while having a awful allergic reaction to an anti-biotic I'd been given to fight off an even more awful respiratory infection. I don't even like that movie. I'd been waiting over a year for "Serenity". In the end I decided that I'd rather see the movie when I was in a state to fully enjoy it. Still, it was a disappointment that cut me to the bone.

1 comment:

John said...

Dude, if you just wait around at the riverbank, everyone in your wagon is going to contract a deadly disease and die anyway. But you could get some good hunting in.