Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Bane of My Existance #384

The "Insert" key on this keyboard. Do you know what this key does? After you press Insert, the cursor will write over anything has been previously typed, rather than just pushing all of the text to the right. Essentially it is a button that turns my $2000 21st century computer into a typewriter.

Can anyone tell me the fucking point of this? For what conceivable reason would anyone need this function? It wouldn't be a problem save for the button's placement. The insert button is grouped in with that little island of misfit keys located above the arrow keys, a horrible island where useless keys like Home, End, and Page Up go to die. Within this island the Insert key happens to be placed adjacent to the Backspace key, possibly the second most used key on the entire keyboard after the Space Bar. Insert and Backspace don't touch but they are just close enough that I continually hit Insert when I am stretching my pinky for the Backspace key, and even though Insert is far more destructive than Caps Lock, there are no lights or whistles that warn you when Insert has been pressed. You can accidentally hit insert and then blissfully type away without realizing that you've typed over an entire sentence when all you wanted to do was add a new sentence before it.

Do we really need an Insert key? Can't we get rid of this, or at least move it somewhere where I can't accidentally hit all the time? Who decides on the layout of keyboards, particularly the placement of all these vestigial keys? Is there an organization to which I can complain? No? Okay, fuck me then.

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