Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Al Gore Is Ruining My Life

I've been spending too much time lately watching Current TV. If you don't know, Current TV is the a cable network that Al Gore helped start and their gimmick is that all of the programming on the network is viewer generated. So everything on the channel comes from the viewers, mostly people mid-teens through mid-thirties, who shoot and edit little documentaries about their lives or people they know or something that's going on in their neighborhood. That's all the network shows. The problem is that each segment is only like five minutes so I end up just sitting there for hours as they roll by one after the other and I start to feel like shit because these are mostly all people my age or younger saying things like "I started a company that digs wells in Africa so the poorest people in the world can have clean drinking water."
"I started a company that makes environmentally friendly surf boards from recycled materials."
"My friends and I petitioned the city and got them to turn this abandoned lot into a skate park so all the kids have a safe place to hang out."

Meanwhile I'm sprawled out on my couch, boxers half on, no shirt, a little pre-Columbian burial mound of Doritos piled on my chest, just hating myself. "What am I doing with my life? I don't even recycle. Why am I such a worthless piece of shit? Fuck you, Al Gore. I hate you!"

But then it evens out because every fifth or sixth segment on Current is some guy who's like "I'm a meth addict. I suck dick for meth." That puts thing in perspective and makes me feel a little better. At least I don't have to suck dick for these Dorritos.

Who am I kidding though? I would.

1 comment:

Frank said...

The great thing about Doritos is that they've got such a bold, zesty flavor that after like five of them you don't even taste the dick anymore.