Friday, February 08, 2008

A Word for Kansas

On the eve of the Kansas Republican Caucus I'd like to take a moment and offer a word of advice to the state that I half grew up in:


Has anyone noticed that of the five states ravaged by sudden, unseasonal tornadoes on Super Tuesday night three of them (Arkansas, Alabama, and Tennessee) were states carried by Huckabee? The other two states, Mississippi and Kentucky, don't vote until March and May respectively, but they are states where Huckabee is expected to do well.

It's obvious what's going on here: God hates Mike Huckabee. Going into Super Tuesday a lot of pundits were saying that "a vote for Huckabee is a vote for McCain," but in light of this regional catastrophe it's clear that a vote for Mike Huckabee is actually a vote for the Wrath of God. I have no idea what Huckabee did to piss God off so bad, but it must be pretty fucking awful.

So, to the Republicans of Kansas and there are a lot of you - especially a lot of you goofy anti-science, anti-gay, Fred Phelps types - I know you will be tempted to vote for Huckabee, but just remember as you start to caucus that this is what God thinks of Mike Huckabee:

You alone have the power to prevent your state (my half home state) from being smote off the face of the Earth. Please do the right thing.

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